Ethereum turns 10 today! Ten years of relentless innovation! But.... What if Ethereum never launched? Let me paint you a cursed timeline: “NFTs” are still called rare Pepes and trade via forum escrow "DeFi" is just a guy in a hoodie offering 20% APR in a parking lot “Smart contracts” = emailing your MetaMask seed to a stranger for airdrop points No Pengus. No Beeple. No Miladys. No Rektguys. No Punks. No Apes. Just whitepapers and quarterly reports No Solidity, no ERC‑20, no unstoppable apps. Just centralized dreams with venture capital terms Imagine a LinkedIn group for lawyers debating tokenomics... and that’s your entire feed. No shitpost battles. No dank memes. No “rekt” or “HODL” chants Bitcoin maxis finally launch DeFi on Excel, with macros Web3 is a Chrome extension that sells your data faster Every “decentralized” app has a Meta, Amazon, or BlackRock logo on it You never got rugged because nothing was fun enough to ape into No frog memes. No LARPing. No on-chain cults No art wars. No anon dev drama. No cults minting JPEGs at 3AM No $TOKEN launched by a dog, run by a frog, and governed by chaos No Farcaster dunk threads, no anon lore drops, no degen poetry at 2AM No vibe shifts, just protocol upgrades with press releases CT? Just grayscale charts and 12 threads a day on "The Next Bitcoin" CT shitposters? Posting TA charts on LinkedIn with “synergy” in the caption DApps? Nope. Just 100 blockchains, none with users, all with Discord drama Bitcoin devs finally agree on one thing: they hate everything that isn’t Bitcoin Meanwhile, Vitalik becomes a StarCraft grandmaster Zuck launches MetaCoin And SBF is still giving TED Talks Ethereum didn’t just change the game It made sure there was a game Ethereum didn’t just give us smart contracts, it gave us exit velocity from Web2 Happy 10th anniversary Believe in somETHing